Homeward Read online

  She nods, licking her lips. “What else would it be?”

  I run a hand over my beard. “I don’t know. I woke up in a pretty good mood. I was hoping you did too. In fact, I was hoping I could see you again.”

  She exhales then bites her bottom lip. When she lifts her chin and looks me in the eyes again I see a depth in her that scares me. One that could swallow me up whole. Maybe last night I was so caught up in miracles and magic I missed it, but I see it now. Laila is more than I thought. Damn, this woman is everything.

  “Look, Cole, I had a great time. But I’m not in a place for...”

  “For what?”

  “For you.”

  I clench my jaw. I can’t remember, for the life of me, a woman ever turning me away. “Why?”

  She sighs. “Because I’m just--”

  “Scared?”

  “Why should I be scared?” she asks, and her eyes go dark as if I’m tiptoeing too close to a truth she doesn’t want me to see.

  I reach over the counter and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You said you’ve been hurt before, is all.”

  She pulls in a sharp breath and I know I am touching on something fragile. Her heart. “I’m not interested, Cole. That’s it.”

  “Is there someone else?”

  She scoffs. “No. Not even remotely.”

  “Than why?”

  “Because I don’t want to.”

  Shaking my head, I rap my knuckles on the desk. “Understood.” I reach for my wallet to pay for the room, but she raises a hand.

  “No, it’s on the house, Cole. Please, just go.”

  I feel like I can read people pretty fucking well, and everything she is saying doesn’t match with what I feel when I look in her eyes. “You sure this is what you want?”

  Tears seem to brim in her eyes and she turns away. “I’m sure.”

  She’s told me to leave more than once, told me men haven’t seen her as a person. That she’s spent her life being objectified, and the last fucking thing I want to do is add fuel to that fire. She asked me to leave, and as much as it kills me, I need to listen.

  This is her life as much as it is mine.

  I leave the B&B, get in my car and head down the long, empty highway. But I keep looking in my rearview mirror as I drive, and when I pass Rosie’s diner, I know it’s not pie I am craving. It’s Laila.

  Linesworth is a gorgeous place to shoot a movie about a man who got lost in the woods and eventually lost his life on the mountain. But even just a few days in, I can’t help but wish I were somewhere else.

  Most of the cast and crew are staying in a hotel on the edge of town and on my first morning off, I take a long walk into town, looking for coffee, and the scent of cinnamon rolls leads me to the Three Sisters Bakery. I remember Jonah and Rosie mentioning them the night I met Laila, and the memory brings a smile to my face. God, I wish I hadn’t walked away from her. Laila made me feel content for the first time in a long-ass while.

  The establishment is the quintessential tourist town destination, complete with display cases of dozens of fresh pastries and treats.

  “Can I help you?” a woman behind the counter asks. Her name tag reads Maggie and I ask her what’s best. “Well, my sister, Greta, makes amazing cinnamon buns. Can’t come to Linesworth without having one.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll take one, and a cup of coffee.”

  She smiles and serves me up. “You know, everyone is talking about the famous movie star, Colton Miller, being in town. It’s an honor having you come to our bakery. My sisters are going to be jealous they missed you.”

  “If this cinnamon bun tastes as good as it smells, I’ll be back,” I say warmly. I grab a table in the corner and a few guys are sitting at a table next to me.

  One of them raises his cup of coffee and gives me a nod like we’re old friends. What is it with these towns in the Pacific Northwest? Everyone is so damn friendly, they might just give the South a run for its money when it comes to charm.

  “You the actor here shooting the movie?” one of the guys asks.

  I take a deep breath, assuming they’re gonna want a selfie with me, or my autograph. Instead, they introduce themselves.

  “I’m Charlie,” one of them says. “My wife is the woman who rang you up, Maggie.”

  “And I’m Ansel.”

  “Ansel?” I frown, the name registering. “You live here, right?”

  He nods, and Charlie cuts in. “Ansel is the author who wrote the book the movie is based on. Well, loosely based on.”

  “I thought so,” I say, putting the pieces together. “Damn, it’s an honor to meet you. I know the story of Luke is important to your family.”

  “Yeah, thanks,” Ansel says, lifting his eyebrows and looking around the bakery. “Luke was Maggie’s, and my wife Greta’s, brother. So, it’s close to home. Of course, the screenplay isn’t exactly the story.”

  “Right, but still. I’m so honored to meet you.”

  “So, you like it here?” Ansel asks, taking the conversation off himself. He’s the kind of guy I like. One who doesn’t need to make everything revolve around him. Salt of the goddamn earth. Real men.

  “Yeah, but...”

  “But what?” Charlie asks.

  “There is this woman. I met her on my way to town and I can’t get her off my mind.”

  Ansel gives me an easy smile. “Classic story.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I give a small laugh. “I guess you should know, you’re the writer.”

  “So, what is it about this woman makes her special?” Charlie asks.

  I take a forkful of the cinnamon bun, thinking over how to answer. Sitting back in the chair, I try to find the words. These guys are practically strangers, but already I feel a real kinship with them. Maybe it’s because I’m playing the part of their family member in this movie. It makes me feel like I can open up.

  “Everything. Her eyes. Her smile. Her voice. It’s like I would look at her and see a piece of myself I didn’t know I was missing. The truth is, I only spent one night with her. Seems crazy to be unable to get her off my mind.”

  Ansel lifts his eyebrows. “Nah, not crazy. When you know, you know. Do you know?”

  “I know I can’t stop thinking about her.” I run a hand through my hair. “Hell, sorry. I’m sitting here with strangers telling them my shit. Sorry. It’s just, hell, it’s been a long few months.”

  “Don’t apologize,” Charlie says. “I bet it’s hard as fuck to find people to talk to when you’re, well, you.”

  “You guys are strange, you know that? How is it that I can sit here, with guys I never met before and feel more comfortable than I ever have with the people back home in L.A.?”

  Ansel shrugs. “Sometimes you have to leave the place you live to find your way home.”

  “Who said anything about home?” I ask.

  Ansel claps me on the back. “You did, brother, the moment you said she was everything.”

  “So, I should try again?”

  Charlie laughs, giving his wife a sappy glance. “You know the answer to that.”

  He’s right. I do.

  Chapter Six

  Laila

  I’m grabbing the Tupperware container of corn and bean salad from the fridge when Virginia comes into the kitchen. Her eyes are wide and she’s biting back a smile.

  “What is it?” I ask, closing the fridge.

  “He’s here.”

  “Who?”

  “Cole,” She squeals, her blonde curls falling over her shoulder.

  “Wait, what?”

  “He’s at the B&B. Came here asking for you.”

  “What did you say?”

  She laughs. “I said I’d come to get you.”

  “Why?”

  “Why? Um, because you’ve been thinking about him constantly since he left a week ago. I’ve never seen you so sad.”

  I lift an eyebrow, knowing good and well what I’ve been saying. She isn’t wrong, exactly.r />
  “You deserve to smile, Laila.”

  “You don’t get it.”

  Ginny snorts. “I’m the one who gets it the most. I know what happened at Badlands because I lived it with you. But that’s the past, Laila. It’s time you let yourself be happy again. Isn’t that why we got this B&B, to give ourselves a chance to create our own destiny?”

  I shake my head, wishing I’d never told her I slept with Cole last week. But Ginny has been my best friend for years. I owe my life to her and her brother, Bear. She had already figured out what happened before I offered her the details.

  “I don’t want to put my baggage on anyone else,” I confess.

  “I don’t think he’s asking for that. I think he was just wanting to take you on a date.”

  I sigh. “That’s the problem, Ginny. I’ve never done normal things like that. Had a nice man ask me out and treat me well.”

  “Then it’s time you started.”

  “And what if--”

  She cuts me off. “Laila, not every man is like the men we knew. Look at Bear and Grace; he was a mess who needed her grace to forgive himself for the things he’d done. Maybe Cole is your Grace.”

  “This metaphor is getting weird.”

  “No, you’re the one getting weird. Just go have fun, Laila.”

  I let my head fall back, knowing it isn’t as easy as that. One night with Cole and I knew that nothing with him would be light and breezy. When we were together, it was intense. It was real. “I don’t know. I’m headed to Cherish and James’ place.”

  “Perfect,” Ginny says. “Take Cole with you. Let him see the real you with your friends before you write him off. Heck, maybe one night on Miracle Mountain and he will be running for the hills.”

  Smiling in spite of the conversation, I grab the salad and head for the door. “You sure you don’t need another set of hands at the B&B tonight?”

  “It’s your night off, Laila and you need it.”

  When I walk around the farmhouse, Cole is sitting on the porch swing, his eyes closed, sunshine streaming through the leaves in the trees and filtering across his face.

  I’m caught off guard by just how handsome he is. His beard causes a tingle to run up and down my spine, and he is wearing a tee shirt that is tight around his biceps, reminding me just how strong and capable his body is.

  “Hey,” I say, sitting down next to him on the swing. “Fancy seeing you here.”

  He opens his eyes, and he exhales as if he has been holding his breath for an entire week.

  “Laila,” he says breathlessly.

  “I thought I told you I wasn’t interested?”

  “I know,” he groans softly, looking over at me like we’ve known one another our entire lives and not for just one solitary day. “But I had to try one more time.”

  “Were you driving back through town?”

  He shakes his head. “No, I had the weekend off, so I thought I’d drive over.”

  “Where do you work?”

  “All over. My home base is in L.A., but I’m doing some work in Linesworth, Washington, for the next month or so.”

  “What kind of work?”

  “Boring stuff. Lots of talking people up and making people happy. Contracts and saying the right thing to the right people.”

  I lean my head back, lifting my feet off the ground and forcing the swing to move. “What would you rather do?”

  He looks over at, smiling. “Sitting on this porch swing is pretty nice.”

  “Yeah, if only you could get paid to do whatever you wanted.”

  “You like running this place, though, don’t you?”

  I nod. “Sure, but I wish the profit margin was a little larger so we could hire a few people. Virginia and I are the only ones here.”

  “If you had more time off, what would you do?”

  I smile, my eyes on Cole’s. “Sitting on this swing with you is pretty nice.”

  “So, you’re glad I came back?”

  I sigh. “One day at a time, Cole.”

  “Damn, you are good at playing hard to get.”

  “This isn’t a game.”

  He takes my hand and laces his fingers through mine. “I know.”

  “So, are you going to take me on a date, or what?”

  “Of course I am.”

  “Good, because I already have plans.”

  “And what are those?”

  “First, how are you with babies?”

  When we get to Cherish and James’ home, I notice that Cole is getting nervous.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  “Yeah, just, uh, I think I should tell you something before we--” But before he can finish, the front door is pulled open and Cherish is waving at us, telling us to come inside, that food is ready, and I ask Cole if it can wait.

  “Of course,” he says. “Just, uh, we don’t know one another that well, and--”

  “Cold feet about meeting my friends?” I laugh as I push open my door and grab the salad from the back seat. “Don’t worry. James and Cherish are the nicest people in the world.”

  He nods, getting out of the car as James comes around the house, the mix of three and four-year-old triplets running around the porch and creating chaos that only happens when you have six kids under five.

  “I didn’t know you were bringing company,” Cherish says as we walk inside her huge log home. She leans in and whispers, “I invited Jonah.”

  I pull back, scowling, watching as Cole and James trail behind us.

  “Why did you do that?” I seethe. “I thought he has a thing for Ginny anyway?”

  “Apparently, he’s been shot down one too many times by her.”

  I snort. “What, so now you sic him on me?”

  “Sorry.” Cherish grimaces as she picks up one of her sons and sets him on her hip. “But who is this guy?”

  “A guest at the inn. He came last week and then... I guess he wanted to see me again so he came back today.”

  “He’s very attractive.”

  I smack her on the arm. “Cherish!”

  “What? He is. I never knew your type. Honestly, didn’t think this was it.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I don’t know. He seems so...”

  “Handsome?”

  Cherish laughs. “Exactly. He looks polished, even with that beard.”

  “I honestly don’t know much about him.”

  “Want me to grill him?” she asks, just as the men come into the kitchen. Jonah is with them. I feel bad for him; he always seems to be the odd man out.

  “No,” I whisper. “I want it to be...”

  “Normal?”

  I nod. “As normal as dinner with six kids, a man I’ve just met, and Jonah can be.”

  Chapter Seven

  Colton

  Driving over the mountains early today, I’d been nervous. But sitting here now, I’m sure glad I listened to my gut and came back. Especially as Laila was clearly getting set up with this Jonah guy. He’s nice, but he is all wrong for her. Jonah tells loud jokes, makes the table laugh, the toddlers crack up. He is all easy and nonchalant confidence.

  That isn’t the kind of man Laila needs. She needs strong and steady. She needs a man who can provide for her, take care of her, and give her what she has been dreaming of. A chance to sit back on the porch swing and take it easy.

  I don’t know everything, but I know enough to read between the lines. Laila has been through a rough patch that has lasted for most of her life.

  “So, what about you?” James asks me. “What brought you to the B&B in the first place?”

  I’m relieved no one seems to recognize me. In fact, they seem oblivious to the outside world, in a good way. They are too busy living their lives to know about Hollywood gossip and I can’t imagine them getting a babysitter so they could go to the movies. Are there even theaters this far out in the sticks?

  “I was all turned around. Stopped at Rosie’s Diner and she gave me di
rections. Seems crazy that I got lost and ended up at Laila’s doorstep.”

  “That’s pretty romantic,” Cherish says, passing around the platter of roasted chicken.

  “How did you and James meet?” I ask her.

  They share a smile and I look over at Laila, who has a soft smile on her face too. It’s clear that these two women are close. And in a different way than Laila and Ginny are. From what Laila explained on the way over, she and Ginny are more like sisters-- but Cherish and Laila seem to share a connection I don’t exactly understand yet. I want to, though. I want to know everything about her.

  “We grew up together,” James says.

  “Where?” I ask.

  “Not too far from here,” Cherish says. She looks around the table, almost as if making sure her sharing is okay with everyone else present. You can feel the way they respect one another. “But uh, we were, uh, well, we were in a cult.”

  “Shit,” I say, leaning in and listening as they explain the circumstances that brought them together, apart, and back again. It’s incredible, hearing how they fought for their love, for one another. How they knew in their hearts that their love was worth taking risks, going all in.

  “And so then, after he took a bullet in the chest for me, I was free,” Cherish says. “Jonah helped James every step of the way. We are all so lucky to have gotten through it at all.”

  I swallow, trying to find words for their love story.

  “What about you, Cole?” James asks, wrapping an arm around his wife’s shoulder and kissing her on the cheek. You can feel the love emitting from them both. “Have you ever been in love?”

  “Not that kind of love,” I say. “I’ve spent a long time caught up in the bullshit that comes with my job, with the city. That’s why being here is such a breath of fresh air.”

  Jonah nods, adding some green beans to the tray on the highchair next to him. “That’s the story most people have about coming to this mountain. It’s like, when you come here, you get a second chance. You can start over.”

  “Is that what happened to you?” I ask him.